I don’t know why I worry about the future so much. It’s like my thoughts are constantly nagging me. With each experience, my mind thinks, “How is this going to impact the future?” I don’t know how it started because I feel like I’ve always thought that way. Even as a young child I was always thinking ahead, wondering how I could be better and create the best possible future life for myself. In my mind I was often several steps ahead of what was happening now.
I keep trying to use the techniques they taught in therapy, the strategies that I’ve read about in all those self-help books, but the nagging persists. The only time I feel at ease is when I’m practicing mindfulness. Otherwise, my head gets so wrapped up in thoughts that I’m on autopilot and not actually living life.
Being in the moment is so important. A lot of the time, the most amazing and beautiful things in life are right there in front of me, not in some preconceived “future”. The sun streaming into my window, walking on the untouched snow, savouring a cup of hot chocolate. These are the type of experiences that I’ve been able to enjoy and appreciate when I’m in the moment, the type of experiences that I usually miss out on when my mind is busy imagining scenarios of the future.
I still do catch myself worrying about my future career, health, finances, and relationships. However, when I realize my mind is getting carried away into the unknown, I remind myself that the present is the only thing that is here right now, it is the only thing I can know is happening for sure. I feel the sun on my skin, I feel my feet sink into the fresh snow, I taste the almondy cocoa goodness of my hot chocolate. I can’t feel, taste, hear, smell, or see anything in the future – that is all to be experienced when I reach there.
Even though life is uncertain, I know the future, no matter how it turns out, will also hold these opportunities for me to bask in the present. This brings me peace of mind, for which I am extremely grateful.